Context is king.

Your brain's perception of a sensation is context dependent. If your partner tickles you when you're feeling turned on, it can be fun. If they tickle you when you're angry, it's just irritating. Same sensation, different context.

When you're stressed out, your brain interprets just about everything as a potential threat.

When you're turned on, your brain could interpret just about anything as sexually appealing. Because: context!

Learning to recognise the contexts that increase your brain’s perception of the world as a sexy place is KEY to more sexual fulfilment.

Context is made up of:

  1. Circumstances of the present moment (e.g. who you're with, where you are, whether the situation is novel or familiar, risky or safe etc)
  2. Your brain state in the present moment (e.g. relaxed or stressed, trusting or not, loving or not, right now in this moment)

For most people, the best context for sex is low stress + highly affectionate + explicitly erotic

<aside> 💡 WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL CONTEXT?

  1. ****Think of 2-3 yummy peak sexual experiences from your past. Make a list of what aspects of that experience made it positive (use the below list of accelerators for inspiration)

  2. Think of 2-3 not-so-great sexual experiences from your past. Make a list of what aspects of that experience made it not-so-great (use the below list of brakes for inspiration)

</aside>

Your answers to #1 give you an idea of your accelerators, and your answers to #2 give you an idea of your brakes.

Now that you have this context list, you can draw upon these to create frequent and easier access to contexts that arouse you.

💁🏼‍♀️ Turn ons/Accelerators

👩🏻‍🤝‍👩🏽Love/Emotional

Trust

Sense of Security